lock yourself up, lock the truth up .

[original picture]

look.

i want to write, i want to spite, i want to spit

all over your face, i want to hit, i want to split,

i want to spill, i want to drill, i want that thrill

i want to pill, i want to play, i want to slay,

i want to pay, i want karma to tell me the truth

about exactly what i've really done in my youth

is it me in this life or the my past that deserved this

this isn't heaven, this isn't hell, this is reality's piss.

is that why i have no bladder control anymore?

i keep shutting myself in the toilet to let my roar

free, reach the core, and let my strength downpour

out of my eyes, and my heart. release the stress,

make me feel a relieved despite all of the mess.

the way i let my emotions go, its like i've

committed suicide really many times. i've

jumped into an area of empty space, i've

tried to land, but there was no ground, i've

tried to expand who it is i am, and who i've

become. i looked at her, at me, at him, i've

tried to only look, look at the negative, i've

tried to only look, look at the positive, i've

tried to look somewhere, anywhere, i've

even tried to look nowhere, nowhere at all.

i keep rolling around like a red bouncy ball,

bouncing off the walls, bouncing of emotions,

bouncing off adrenaline, bouncing of hope,

bouncing of dope, because i can, i can cope.

i don't know if its a good thing sometimes, and

i've made myself a stone, until i explode, and

my blood, and my guts are left everywhere and

i can't seem to clean everything up in time, and

i need to hide my truth from the everyone, and

i want to show and tell people sometimes, and

i can't, i won't, cause noone wants to know, and

talk to a psycho bitch, now tell me do they? and

would they still look at me the same way? and

would they still love me the way they did? and

would they still like everything about me? and

just lose it, just lose it. lose your own mind, and

lose your rhymes, but do it alone, only alone, and

don't tell anyone, anymore, ever, anywhere, and

take a breath.

just,

take a breath.

take the wretch.

;[signed]