don't take this little freedom i got, i cot, i pot .

when addiction causes inflection.


(original image)

Perfect.

another swallowed pill,
another liver overkill.
they tell me stop, stop.
lop, the popping bop.

don't tell me who to be.
you parents fed you fee,
you didn't have to find,
your own indentity bind.

do you grasp this show?
do you rasp dried glow?
you, are living, living.
your perfect world is giving.

mightn't be perfect to thee,
it is to me. to me, it is.
don't take this as diss.
you're my friend, consistency.

seeing your family spilled me,
the democracy that pilled me.
you got it, you got it glee.
with love and rove, no flee.

awake, i lie awake.
you ate your piece of cake.
you flake this pain i take.
awake, i lie awake.

got me nerved up i say, i say.
things weren't meant to be this.
toiled and boiled on that hiss.
new empty roots of another day.

you were supposed to help me sleep,
you got me weeped in my own deep.
and my head is over its own say.
and there's no chance i hit the hay.

i wish you understood,
stand where i stood.
actually in the hood,
of trying to live good.

a remnder of what begun compulsion,
when the addiction causes inflection.
because before you know, it unwinds,
tremories of memories, they offer grinds.
and you compare this unfair share,
and obligate the awake stake's snare.

i try to fly in the dry,
but i fell on some fire.
burning in hell's liar.
i flew in the dew.

;[signed]

yesterday, a while ago ..

The Penguin: You're just jealous, because I'm a genuine freak and you have to wear a mask!
Batman: You might be right.

na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na BATMAN!

and when i needed you all most;

there was noone there .

(original image)

Gash.

this body hit an iceberg, it seems to sink.
because i'm drowning at the link's brink.

the sucking and plucking of the glee;

i do see, what all of this made me.

this stash of ash has had no reason to flash,

and the splash of gash, was never to rehash.

from that banned pow; and hand now:

the irk that spoke-

i'm not working, lurking with commas anymore;

i'm sticking, flicking to fullstops. It be hardcore.

i'll just have to go with a flow that doesn't exist,

and keep shaking hands with an unclenched fist.

from that caught body and taut embody:

the shirk it say-

there is no such thing has you have no choice.

there's this hidden listening to the inner voice.

but yet it turns out i'm still living, and giving;
and misgiving every form of nature's forgving.

its going the way it is, it doesn't matter what i say.
day by day, its going to be lay the delay of way.

heavens, i just almost forget to say,
wish you merry christmas by the way.

;[signed]

The bathtub is empty. (waste of face)

It is roughly carved and peeling-

No hopes of healing, now only kneeling.

It intends to stall, this desperate call.

But it echoes flat;

Hammered hollow, a modern collapse.

No more perhaps.

It is abandoned, it won’t be filled;

It is abandoned, it will be killed.

It has been taken from the pipes,

An organ inhumanly torn and worn;

Fashion’s latest thorn.

You hover in there;

You cover, won’t leave.

you will break; you will make.

Breathing its mutilated bait;
One last stabbing hate.

Denying the undeniable,
Irresistible, consuming; fate.

But soon it’ll be too late.

for all those times we thought we were normal .

just because,
i think i miss not knowing.
i sink, i hiss not showing.


(original image)

its you, me,memory and all the hysterical grimes.
it be different times, but both were denial chimes.

:dedication to that only other person who really knows me .

[CRANBERRIES - ZOMBIE] LYRICS.

Another head hangs lowly,
Child is slowly taken.
And the violence caused such silence,
Who are we mistaken?

But you see, it's not me, it's not my family.
In your head, in your head they are fighting,
With their tanks and their bombs,
And their bombs and their guns.
In your head, in your head, they are crying...

In your head, in your head,
Zombie, zombie, zombie,
Hey, hey, hey.
What's in your head,
In your head, Zombie, zombie, zombie?
Hey, hey, hey, hey, oh, dou, dou, dou, dou, dou...

the hand on my shoulder .

loose.

tight.

what is right?

pinching pain inside my throat.

is that your hand that strangle?

underneath your mighty hand: all i do is dangle.

my head, crashing: these thoughts, bashing.

and now you're killing the air

it just isn't fair.

who are you? another?

another voice, to tell and tear:

to wear and make me share.

my fleshed fat is all i have:

can you take it?

will you fake it?

can you shake me?

will you break me?

rape me clean:

undo the sheen.

i flinch at the touch and glare:

my narcissistic dare.

but come on: strip me bare:

watch me bleed this repeated deed.

my head runs on repeat:

the poison lose, i have no wish to defeat.

my lies breed in the liver:

i throw it all up with tingling shiver.

what do you know; please, do tell me:

will i kneel?

can i deal?

will i heal?

because:

i fucking need to feel.

a prediction of affliction .

& every seat of heavy beat fell into the swell dwell wound in the ground .


(original image)


i don't want to feel .

no hit from the fallen pit.
no fit, no grit.
i split my wit.
and you all see, a blind flea,
a grind flee;
this numb me.
you thought pace,
but i needed your brace.
you thought that.
i needed my space,
but that's not right,
not light, not what.
that is no appeal.
my soul is finished reel,
a wheel of wheal.

i steal, i steal,
from things to flings that brings.
to emotions and problems,
reached and bleeched,
so i do not identify.
i steel my problems.
but this shut rut don't,
i don't blank your current reaction,
i don't.
it ain't my-your flight,
this sputum put; but clearly,
you don't how to handle this.
but inspite, in my spite;
i know your good intention.
this ain't your pretention.
this tension is mine,
no attention is grime.
and my lent intent,
isn't to share this deal.
i kneel my problems.

i peel, i peel.
i don't want to feel.
i see you two; i see, i lee,
indirected sympathy.
and yet i'm fueling.
i see you two, i see my grief.
this fee, this fee.
the glitches, hitches of surreal.
though you who knows this show,
this grow from the brow of blow;
and the low row of baked steak.
your fake ignorance; the flake take,
you don't really know.
i feel my problems,
and i'm dueling.

and i'm sorry.
if i've miffed, stiffed.
don't get me wrong; i'm not fuming at you:
it's not what i meal to mean.
seem to seal,
i realize, i realized.
and now i recognize:
the leal just,
thrusting the dust.
that just:
i'm scared, you'll lose me to my problems;
as i bust, i must;
the flared stared rust.
i gust into impaired,
that possibility of hostility.


;[signed]

"and if that mockingbird don't sing and that ring don't shine, i'mma break that birdie's neck"

(copyrighted image)

Where is the end?

it was one of those days, a rise, a wise was not going to occur,
i kept trying to find the sight in this whole deter of burr to blur.
that agonizing pain, wouldn't let me train the forgetting lane,
and its wane, waning to the point of disdaining the living chain.

nature was never on my side, thus this ride just keeps on evoking;
and though the noose around my neck seems loose, i'm choking.
its me, and my body, thats losing any expectation of exhilaration;
just because the way i'm breathing, seething, it hints expiration.

cause my face is burning and turning, my depart is yearning.
my back is grilling its edge through my skinning; a spilling.
my race has ended, suspended; life's lended from learning.
my sack is tilling its ledge through my every single filling.

my body is creased, obsesed of stuffed food rather than emotion.
and to find that mockingbird floating and soaking my motion.
so numb, dumb to think there was anyone, to plumb the drain.
too itched, ditched, to blink there is any way to stitch the pain.

and i'll keep chewing on my hand til the day i can't stand.
and i'll sweep crewing on my land until the day i am sand.
to walk into any and every sting and i won't feel a thing.
to stalk into every and any fling and i won't deal a ring.

;[signed]

i say, you say, no reference to a cliche, die another day .

(original image)

It Weigh.

it won't be okay, it won't be okay;
been screwed over from play to say.
keeping wait for blubber to delay,
bones don't just uncurve and stay.

suffocation has never left my way;
for it curls with no warmth, no ray.

it won't be okay, it won't be okay;
stained since an egg about to lay.
but the flay of fray left me to pray,
with that hot face tracing the bray.

it won't be okay, it won't be okay.
all an astray of convey turns gray.

everyday's a price to pay of disarray.
its a day, a tray of what may betray.
the solid weigh of the slay of stay
still living, it say, it won't be okay.

;[signed]

kill it if you can .

you do not do, you do not do
anymore, black shoe.

the cookiemonster .

The lead pulsates red.

It has hands burned from masturbation,

Inflicting unknown justification.

-

It devours your flab, your skin.

Your dangling double chin.

Its sneering hearing

Refuses normal bearing.

-

It likes the nod of odd,

It enjoys to taste the waste,

Of the rapist's haste.

A thick crust, the cum's paste.

-

Damned goods, crush boned woods.

A hole dug too deep, breathing cheap.

It burns red, it gapes hollow;

The sunken eyes devoid.

Carved out by perversion's never ending void.

the uncertainty of sight .

Tired and abused; a line for the highers.

Do not look at the spider web, the stretched thin ropes;

They are simply mutilated hopes.

The black widow purrs, her fangs agape

Dripping in narcissistic wait.

Do not think you will escape.

A kidney, a lung.

Raped clean and sterile:

Think you can run?

Digging and clawing at your skin;

You want, you need this sickening bin.

The answers you crave, won't shave:

They live lie, and dead die.

>

A note for a funeral;

A note for the dead.

A note for the sorrow;

A note for the bed.

A note for forever;

A note that will pass.

A note for you;

A note that won’t last.

"unfortunately"

d a r k
b l a n k
e m p t y
p a c e s o f s p a c e s
- - -

Me

you do not need to recognize us.
to learn to love leaking dead pus.
you don't need to recognize this.
to enchance the miss in remiss.
you don't need to recognize you.
but to know which who was true.

to keep drinking to green piss,
to what i really mean to say is;
you don't need to recognize me.
you don't need to recognize me.

trust me, you're better of that way.
thrust me, i'm better off in dismay.
you don't need to recognize me lay.
you don't display of this mold of clay.

;[signed]

DATED HATE WILL PREVAIL .

[it never means anything .]

-
feathery light american sold .
came to me in a fold .
a bold forgiveness mould .
-
you are tiny
quiet and totally insignificant;
i could strangle your long swan neck .
you are dirt from tip to tail;
but no fail no fail;
you i'll hail .

i'm emptied hollow and cradle you
my only tie to childhood's innocence .
you'll soon stink of cigarettes.
and i'll love you all the more.
-
toiletpaper stains
humiliation's hellish flames.
eye's blames.

stabbed open wide;
you'd wonder where it hides .
-
this sledgehammer killed
my fleeing thoughts .

"I'm sorry that you have to see the strength inside me burning."

(copyrighted image)

Hover.

bring in the booze, they suck at my ooze.
where is the noose? i got nothing to lose.
a choking, poking; the living at the edge.
stoning and toning, been hit by the ledge.

a shadow scraping through every somehow.
a creeping and seeping, i crave kill me now.
hear me out, why won't they, i'm sliced lard.
here about, i shout, since i've been hit hard.

caught in this fraught, fighting the pump;
i must need to relieve, by taking a dump.

but thats a two-minute solution hover,
cause you only do a hostile takeover.
you rip at every sip, any progress i do;
i just might as well sell my soul to you.


;[signed]

scared and fully bared, screaming "shared" .

from pus-eye.blogspot.com

nothing .

A distant hiss, a smirking kiss.

It touches, lingers, diseases fingers.

A naked sigh, a popped up eye.

This high flattened fly, never shy

To die of this mutilated lie.

-

A blackened hole, a toasted lung,

It is hung, jerkily flung.

Up high in the ceiling, a rapist's feeling.

It is disfigured and corrupt, wrapped shut,

Slow decay will flay this lay.

It was complicated, a defecating shoo.

Ripped up and robbed, stuffed back and rotting hot

A simple shot would bite this night, a fleshy flight

A denial, a nothing, a nay, it’s okay.

-

Because there was nothing to ever see;

Decipher my clingy hi, a desperate bye.

To forever shy, to always die.

To humanize this white licked lie.

i need to take a leak .

(copyrighted image)

Intent.

assumptions we make, we don't know.
we think, aren't meant to let things go.
we obsess over an undressed guess;
but we confess, have words to express.

do you recognize the pattern? a crick.
reaction to the stolen lantern? a prick.
to when coffee kills taste buds of create.
to swallow air and wait to see the rate.

just speak and seek, i'm right here;
it seems to be now a little too mere.
hindered and winded out of its scale,
astray times and crimes, a musing tail.

a lost mechanism to balance the equation,
as this just seems like a stubborn occasion.
but then again, there never was proportion.
because we are the pulse to life's distortion.

wherever the leave for this realease goes,
one waits to set eyes on the pinokiyo nose;
to see, what i see, to say nothing, like i did.
you need to realize as i intently hid this bid.

;[signed]

tick-tock, tick-tock, tock-tick .

(original image & edited)

Did You See?

the holes in my black eyes?
the ties, lies that i despise?
the meat mock of your rise?
your slip that was not wise?

the dump with too many drafts?
my life thats made up of crafts?
to drink and desire all the dafts?
the way karma somehow shafts?

the venom you spit to make this split?
the knitted eyes and a sewn mouth slit?
those guts were pitched into that pit?
just a bruised reerection from that hit?

the slipping and dripping through hints,
learning and yearning through the tints.
from burning blood spoiling the prints,
to a turning flood toiling through sprints.

the rift, it shifts, it is making me sick.
the gas climbing in the air too thick,
the poisoning position from that lick;
a practise fire drill to tricking the slick.

so tell me, are you up for this thrill?
to fill the role and roll down the hill?
bandage the pill, hot glue the spill?
seek, to unweak the meek, for the kill?

;[signed]

f r o z e n .

(copyrighted image)

i wish i had been aborted

sometimes you don't need more than one sentance to say it all.
sometimes, a feasable tease, an uneasable lease that does call,
to that soul-sucking emptyness, refusing to let you to stand tall.
and that hole-plucking truth, ducking to bucking, an inhaling pall.
in the flesh, you stall and crawl; cause you're lost down the hall.
the spate state to a slow flow of frozen blood is numb to the gall.
too vulnerable after the fall, you've become a weared-down wall.

;[signed]

goodluck & good-luck .

YOU'RE HEADED FOR MUCK .
once, twice; there'll never be a thrice.

(copyrighted image)

Change.

waste and taste with the recent poser;
wrapped around by the social hoser.

she ain't the same, and she is to blame.
yet she runs her own friendship game.

social butterfly, floating and gloating;
sucks them in, fakes stripped coating.

you'll land in a pit, throwing a fit.
and i'll put oil to the fire you lit.
you'll hear me voice therefores.
it is time to settle the inner gores.

we'll see where you get someday,
we will see, it ain't too far away.
now, you're adjourn, in all the rife;
soon, you'll be gone, outta my life.

and i don't, i won't, keep in touch;
because this time, i had it rough.

soon, you will be under covers.
keep at it, i insist; i have others.

things change, people change;
now you'll see a raw exchange,
you never thought was coming.
but it is right here, and running.

hold it - words on repeat, i say;
when things do not go your way,
don't buzz me, i've turned my back,
i'll hang this friendship on the rack.

sincerely, i wish that luck does hit.
cause your loneliness will need it.

;[signed]

every sound is round, every found is bound .

(copyrighted image)

Merry.

'tis before we attempted suss;
the merry-go-round taught us,
that life goes around in circles.
fuckin shapes, rapes encircles.

on and on; it aimed at forever.
which means there is no sever.
reincarnation is not a station,
and we're here for castigation.

and then we all learn to fear.
but we cannot; cannot hear.
or hold on to anything dear.
we see from trashed sheer.

chew me alive, i ain't no sant.
eat me death, angle me slant.

i won't follow any such tradition,
or listen to caution's submission.
i won't live forever; gloom suicides.
i won't live forever; hope collides.

i can't, i'll rant every scant;
til no enchant of this grant.

cause thats a ride i wouldn't hitch;
i'd rather fall down the black ditch.

tired from this hyper pant,
this is unreachable implant.
cause we never really know,
whatever is the actual flow.

;[signed]

boredoms of normality, we are modernly retarded .

i threw up too much and now i don't care.

these tumours, they overgrow,
over flow.
they shove and moan, pedophiles groping children's bones
no physical manifestations we would require,
that head of yours filled with enough desire.
and we were liars, buying shit from these fliers.
they handed out, pure and clean.
and we just couldn't see past the sheen.

[and the clean sheen was as white as coke]


upon these thoughts we would stumble;
filled with regret, these tumbles
upon we fumble, shunt this cunt.
"perverts, perverts" was a little blunt.
there was no long hunt; a slip and fall,
breaks open foam washed mouths;
and we would beg, hatching that moulding egg.
with a clean, stuffed leg.

"memories" aka blank spaces

and and and it refuses to end;
a slight bend, could lend.

there's something unappatizing about it all;
might be in this vodka breathe, a blank space;
this haze delivers, another kind of daze.
it echoes empty; your pure mind,
driven blank, through this prank;
in here it's all dank.
this bathtub is filled to the brim
with god knows what, this bathroom dim
drowning slow, beneath the surface
a wall, refusing to collapse.

i'm all alone

this disgustion is not drawn out of purity;
self hatred does not care, it leaves you bare.
with nothing left to share
but the flesh you left; these, my knees,
carefully scraped up; an art.
physical manifestations, light penetrations;
and you'd sell yourself for unlonliness.
this is your hell, your god given shell.

and it's made worse .
..
you'll bash in your head
mourning next; be sure you're dead.
like veins filled with lead;
all the tears they would shed.
all the tears you will shed.

done . done . its time for undone .

& fuck you too .

(copyrighted image)

Morrow.

no spare time for anymore pretend;
i will not lend any words to amend.

selfish, selfish; it slaps, and taps in my mind.

and you wonder hows these words unwind.

and to me, it is time to say farewell,
to a friendship that never meant well.
surely sick of your scarful sappy ways-
only to speed up the course of decay.

oh horrow, bright goodie morrow;
so drown in your problems sorrow.
i, too have ants biting my bat brain,
but then unlike you, i live in the drain.

you will be down the hill, cause i will make this bill.
never is a long time, but its time for until this still.

so, no longer feel guilty for leaving you alone.
cause i know reality, one worse than a groan.

see you never, its a long time indeed.
i'll be around only if you're on weed.

;[signed]

glaze through the haze - we are ablaze .

(copyrighted image)

Alive.

no exit out of grounds, where to go?
you can't run, and why do you got to?
you living; so dick who you want to do.
cause in the end, we all fucked me-you.

and the end,
never bends.
never lends.
does it end?

he shot a policeman- he killed his thirst.
so they couldn't kill him- he shot em first.
"i won't die", he who laughed til he cried.
except he did; they say, today, he died.

but i say, he expired years ago.
when the fear burned him alive.
cockroaches eating at his toe.
there was nothing left to rive.

spear your beating intestines,
before they tine at your spine.
bin and give in; outlive your sin.
you can run on the gift of spin.

that boy, he didn't kill the policeman.
he shot his childhood, his own man.

;[signed]

"deepness" and such

by raf simons .

-

you really shouldn't use words you don't quite understand .

high, bye .

the inner why .
the sinner sigh .

"Lister: Whats your take on the situation?
Holly: What do you want? The long or the short version?
Lister: Long.
Holly: Youre finished. [pause]
The Cat: Whats the short version?
Holly: Bye."

(my edited version of Jenny Saville's painting)

Yet.

we live, we give and we die. why mourn?
you are not going to heaven; not above.
yet its wrong to think, link good porn?
they hurried to the buried, to lost love.

and yet we are supposed to be happy.
with the words from the rabbi sappy?
at every turn, we earn; learn to yearn.
yet, we're ought to listen to the stern?

we are, we are born to scorn.
to kill the symbol of the dove.
i want to be torn; i had sworn.
no mush, i want to push n shove.

i shouldve snatched your glove.
pluck and suck at every thorn;
warmth, down below and above.
'tis nothing worthy of any adorn.

to why the pregnant mother fights;
let go of the life living inside of her.
leave the light to bring the bright.
because we spur to stir that blur.

ins and outs; we will get about.
shoot death; sprout the drought.


;[signed]

nihil + plath

I DO IT SO IT FEELS LIKE HELL

I DO IT SO IT FEELS REAL >

the dust - i thrust;

for a home's dome .

(copyrighted image)

Fail

it doesn’t matter whether I’m right;
in this fight, i have to keep in sight.

my truth is - i cannot fail or frail;
i gotta take care of my family tail.

i'll keep thrusting the trusting issue;
go on handing over my tainted tissue.

;[signed]

glitter gutter .

(copyrighted image)

Perfection.

another disease set to attack.

the cost; lost on my own back.

tears to dry, what to cry; such galore.
my sore body is cramming to the core.
forgot what to worry about anymore.
but know to gush, flush out the door.

the lead, the need to itch at everything.
and to keep my tears in my plastic sling.

too much caught around my spider web;
lately loosing every depth of every ebb.
just cannot keep living of break-downs;
and holding my head above the drowns.

rather not rot from my own reflection.

in the name of defection's perfection.

sick of the cliché of fucking someday;
she bunged believing in a someway.
with the hope to mail myself away;
hith the dope package of what may.

cause we all are what we grope.

and no mope will cut the rope.

;[signed]

in this state; i wait, await .

(copyrighted image)

No reply

draw your dark world,
ink your icon illusion.
a hunt for value hurled;
depicting every delusion.

you turn to find noone here.
no sadist to bring you to life;
with earth eating at my ear.
this feelings becoming rife.

walk, talk to the trees.
hello, how do you do?
silence. it gets no ease;
no such expectation too.

supplying your own reply.
the hollowness in my eyes;
no homo sapien that I rely.
no greetings, no goodbyes.

canvas torture, yet to come,
I’ll make my own people run;
this person that I’ve become.
my talking trees block the sun.

this empty road, it cannot hold,
with existance far away, its sole.
wrapping round the spinal cold;
truth, youth - buried in a hole.

;[signed]

special, we're not .

from purple diary

this idea of afterlives, reincarnations, heaven and hell .
are we not like everything else around us-
live, and die, desintergrate into everything, nothing?

do we really think we're that special?

contemplating the hyperventilating .

(painted by Jenny Saville, copyrighted image)


Wallow.

feels like im falling asleep
under; in the sinking deep.

truck,
fuck.

ducking dreams of drooling,
suck-in the rubbery tooling;
you ain't fooling, no fooling.
the tempurature aint cooling.

hurt,
spurt.

hurt me, bruise me; am i awake?
am i mixed well into the cake bake?

pinch me, inch by inch; flinch me.
shake it off, take it on, the way it be.

state,
await.

yes, no? it hurts the crest of this chest;
and its forming your stung, dung nest.

swallow,
wallow.

its stressing me out, runt.
lost in a maze, haze; hunt.
this hiss, bliss; you be blunt.
stay away, turn; you shunt.

wither whether,
too tithe tether.

;[signed]

roof, aloof .

(copyrighted image)

Wry

to winder which where?
and hinder here there.

owing to this caught birth;
brought me to eating earth.

every single composition;
leads to decomposition.

souls coil, toil;
hearts to boil.

throw me offboard,
you know i belong.
throw me onboard,
you know i belong?

you don'know whatcha saying;
you don'know whatcha playing.

they said;
be ahead;
but i said;
dead bed.

so lingering waffled;
hurly-burly baffled.

wry the world down;
broke my own crown.

only to make choices?
i hear, i hear voices.

fear, it leers, near, near.
gears, fuck them seers.

i know hysteria, hysteria;
hear news from the stereo.

by then, i infact knew;
i lost to my-your crew.

;[signed]

boredom, my chronic disease .

Out of boredom, I put on my fright.

Out of boredom, I’ll put out my light.

can't chill? take pill .

(copyrighted image)

Rack.

painthrillers,
vainkillers.
depend on you.
turn to be true.

irking, why ain't it working?
behind so kind; you shirking?

you know not; strain pain,
but twinkle, wrinkle vain.

twinkle twinkle litte star,
how i wonder behind bars.
how i wonder what you are.
re-rising of a reflected scar;

i don't need a mirror;
don't want a shimmer.

its caught up in my back.
throw me out of the rack.

why does the dirt decompensate?
in my world with no concentrate.

it goes, it does; the beat.
no path, math; no retreat.

no using the matching mask;
betting on the boiling bask.
kinship chemicals in a flask;
swell, dwell. too much to ask?

astray it be;
there a she.
the decline;
crossing line.

its caught up in my back.
throw me out of the rack.

so stalking crooked;
bow to the wicked.

so snatched routine,
know knitted seam.

that hatching latch,
the crowing catch;

virgin watching,
ground patching.

its blowing,
no flowing.

and he'll huff and he'll puff -
and he'll blow the house down
and he'll muff and he'll duff -
and he'll be his own body clown.

clawing its way to every breath,
staining hands like Lady Macbeth.

it happened to me,
to me, me; losing lee.

so, whos karma did i get now?
mine? ugly duckling somehow.

and disability's stability;
to fed forsaken facility.

;[signed]