lock yourself up, lock the truth up .

[original picture]

look.

i want to write, i want to spite, i want to spit

all over your face, i want to hit, i want to split,

i want to spill, i want to drill, i want that thrill

i want to pill, i want to play, i want to slay,

i want to pay, i want karma to tell me the truth

about exactly what i've really done in my youth

is it me in this life or the my past that deserved this

this isn't heaven, this isn't hell, this is reality's piss.

is that why i have no bladder control anymore?

i keep shutting myself in the toilet to let my roar

free, reach the core, and let my strength downpour

out of my eyes, and my heart. release the stress,

make me feel a relieved despite all of the mess.

the way i let my emotions go, its like i've

committed suicide really many times. i've

jumped into an area of empty space, i've

tried to land, but there was no ground, i've

tried to expand who it is i am, and who i've

become. i looked at her, at me, at him, i've

tried to only look, look at the negative, i've

tried to only look, look at the positive, i've

tried to look somewhere, anywhere, i've

even tried to look nowhere, nowhere at all.

i keep rolling around like a red bouncy ball,

bouncing off the walls, bouncing of emotions,

bouncing off adrenaline, bouncing of hope,

bouncing of dope, because i can, i can cope.

i don't know if its a good thing sometimes, and

i've made myself a stone, until i explode, and

my blood, and my guts are left everywhere and

i can't seem to clean everything up in time, and

i need to hide my truth from the everyone, and

i want to show and tell people sometimes, and

i can't, i won't, cause noone wants to know, and

talk to a psycho bitch, now tell me do they? and

would they still look at me the same way? and

would they still love me the way they did? and

would they still like everything about me? and

just lose it, just lose it. lose your own mind, and

lose your rhymes, but do it alone, only alone, and

don't tell anyone, anymore, ever, anywhere, and

take a breath.

just,

take a breath.

take the wretch.

;[signed]

Sam: You know ... not everybody likes to lay their guts out on the table like that, Tara.
Tara: Yeah, they might not like it, but they all dream about finding somebody they can do it with.

She should have stayed away from friends
She should have had more time to spend
She should have died when she was born
She should have worn the crown of thorns
..

She should have stood out in the crowd
She should have made her mother proud
She should have fallen on her stance
She should have had another chance

(been a son, nirvana)

sigalit landau

watch me burn .

(copyrighted image)

i really want to walk through fire, BUT THERE'S NO FUCKING AVAILABLE FIRE AROUND

me.

i guess it'll just have to burn inside .

;[signed]

my breath

will be as real as ever.

when existance is the realest

truest

illusion,

the most pure lie you will ever encounter

and when we just breath the same air as everyone else

and die just to become part

of the rest of this unblinking world

what is your excuse for breathing?

when so few people can confirm my existance,

and just about no one could tell them who I really am

really

what is this breath

that keeps the muscle beating?

you will wait your whole life only to always realize that they made you

all wrong

that never can you become

anything more.

(than a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy)

my breath remains a bad imitation

coming out of a lung

that serves no other purpose

than keeping me

alive.

living when you could be dying

dying when you could be living.

(because one is not complete without the other)

yesterday, today, and an unknown date .

(edited copyrighted image)

Bandaged Daze.

None of the gas and the trash inside of me crash.

My pain has become a stain, a rash i can't bash.

I just want to throw my guts at the washed wall!

another phase set ablaze is just another stall

for mental death and upcoming rental wretch

and for every little harsh hazard going to fetch

out the empty burnt holes from our human souls.

Its camouflage to the vile pile of mind-made coals.

It feels like I came back bandaged from my head to toe,

But all the cuts on me are healed, ain't nothing to show.

And this is just an illusion, a delusion that I do not want,

But why on earthling's mingling does it haunt and taunt?

i don't recognize all of the world's colours, but I can fake;

And shade in tones for my skin to cover my truth at stake.

They say I don't style a genuine smile through this dirt pile,

But I do tend to pretend that everything is in a normal rile.

Stuck in my own picture, where is the vanishing point?

What's making it exist, where is the banishing point?

It's a portrait, a mirror that breathes, it walks, it talks.

It peeps, it beeps, it weeps, its own madness stalks.

Because I'm stuck in a maze, in an heating haze,

And its ruining my day's flow, a nauseating laze.

I keep running in circles and this feeling will not go,

But I can't figure out exactly why I'm feeling so low.

i don't know what to do with all these feelings and emotions anymore.

i'm wanting to fall down the rocks, bleed and puke more on the shore.

pick me up, pick me up from the found ground in the planet round,

because i'm bound to emptiness felt wind drowned in silent sound.

i don't know what to do with all these feelings and emotions anymore,

so i imagine i'm on a parachute that's falling and heading to the floor.

i flare inside of my boiling red face and my itched eyes are on beware.

so pick me up, pick me up, because i'm in the middle of bare nowhere.

;[signed]

it isn't easy .

(copyrighted image)

because all the hocus pocus in my ongoing strife,
is heading me to lose focus on aspects of my life.

Your Own Voice

all this shit takes a hit-
are you good enough?
are you split, are you slit?
cause being tough is rough.

staring off in space,
lost in my every thought.
do i belong in this race?
am i the object you bought?

they look at you for your worth,
and as soon as you do not fit
the guildlines on this dirt, this earth,
its difficult to stand up and not sit.

sit and sulk, cause you ain't the hulk;
apparently, you don't have any power.
cause once again, the shame is the bulk
that makes you unable to get up and shower.

no matter what anybody actually says,
you tried and died once again, and
somehow got stuck right next to the whiz;
and every taste in your mouth goes bland.

unaware of the time, what day, what week
this even is? all you know is that what you seek,
but they called you weak, they called you meek.
and you stand the edge, you reached the peak.

keep questioning yourself, should you turn back?
their bubble voices bursting in your blasting ears!
maybe your anger will put you back on a track;
until you re-appear, and your own voice leers.

;[signed]