in this state; i wait, await .

(copyrighted image)

No reply

draw your dark world,
ink your icon illusion.
a hunt for value hurled;
depicting every delusion.

you turn to find noone here.
no sadist to bring you to life;
with earth eating at my ear.
this feelings becoming rife.

walk, talk to the trees.
hello, how do you do?
silence. it gets no ease;
no such expectation too.

supplying your own reply.
the hollowness in my eyes;
no homo sapien that I rely.
no greetings, no goodbyes.

canvas torture, yet to come,
I’ll make my own people run;
this person that I’ve become.
my talking trees block the sun.

this empty road, it cannot hold,
with existance far away, its sole.
wrapping round the spinal cold;
truth, youth - buried in a hole.

;[signed]

special, we're not .

from purple diary

this idea of afterlives, reincarnations, heaven and hell .
are we not like everything else around us-
live, and die, desintergrate into everything, nothing?

do we really think we're that special?

contemplating the hyperventilating .

(painted by Jenny Saville, copyrighted image)


Wallow.

feels like im falling asleep
under; in the sinking deep.

truck,
fuck.

ducking dreams of drooling,
suck-in the rubbery tooling;
you ain't fooling, no fooling.
the tempurature aint cooling.

hurt,
spurt.

hurt me, bruise me; am i awake?
am i mixed well into the cake bake?

pinch me, inch by inch; flinch me.
shake it off, take it on, the way it be.

state,
await.

yes, no? it hurts the crest of this chest;
and its forming your stung, dung nest.

swallow,
wallow.

its stressing me out, runt.
lost in a maze, haze; hunt.
this hiss, bliss; you be blunt.
stay away, turn; you shunt.

wither whether,
too tithe tether.

;[signed]

roof, aloof .

(copyrighted image)

Wry

to winder which where?
and hinder here there.

owing to this caught birth;
brought me to eating earth.

every single composition;
leads to decomposition.

souls coil, toil;
hearts to boil.

throw me offboard,
you know i belong.
throw me onboard,
you know i belong?

you don'know whatcha saying;
you don'know whatcha playing.

they said;
be ahead;
but i said;
dead bed.

so lingering waffled;
hurly-burly baffled.

wry the world down;
broke my own crown.

only to make choices?
i hear, i hear voices.

fear, it leers, near, near.
gears, fuck them seers.

i know hysteria, hysteria;
hear news from the stereo.

by then, i infact knew;
i lost to my-your crew.

;[signed]

boredom, my chronic disease .

Out of boredom, I put on my fright.

Out of boredom, I’ll put out my light.

can't chill? take pill .

(copyrighted image)

Rack.

painthrillers,
vainkillers.
depend on you.
turn to be true.

irking, why ain't it working?
behind so kind; you shirking?

you know not; strain pain,
but twinkle, wrinkle vain.

twinkle twinkle litte star,
how i wonder behind bars.
how i wonder what you are.
re-rising of a reflected scar;

i don't need a mirror;
don't want a shimmer.

its caught up in my back.
throw me out of the rack.

why does the dirt decompensate?
in my world with no concentrate.

it goes, it does; the beat.
no path, math; no retreat.

no using the matching mask;
betting on the boiling bask.
kinship chemicals in a flask;
swell, dwell. too much to ask?

astray it be;
there a she.
the decline;
crossing line.

its caught up in my back.
throw me out of the rack.

so stalking crooked;
bow to the wicked.

so snatched routine,
know knitted seam.

that hatching latch,
the crowing catch;

virgin watching,
ground patching.

its blowing,
no flowing.

and he'll huff and he'll puff -
and he'll blow the house down
and he'll muff and he'll duff -
and he'll be his own body clown.

clawing its way to every breath,
staining hands like Lady Macbeth.

it happened to me,
to me, me; losing lee.

so, whos karma did i get now?
mine? ugly duckling somehow.

and disability's stability;
to fed forsaken facility.

;[signed]

poof, and it's gone .

i was looking for something to spray red.
more specifically- had to be white .
preferably .. thin, layered .
it would look like a light wound, soaking up the blood .
hopefuls .

or else, like period gone awry .
smears and stains, humiliation, oh my .
it pained us all, it pained us all.

i looked and i looked, couldn't find
any fucking white .
no . fucking . whites .

i don't even have any fucking white underwear anymore, it seems .
and you wonder where your childhood went .

i continued by putting on a sheer black shirt,
but as usual the fat blocked my view .
so oddly shaped;
as usual, i wouldn't wanna say i, so much easier to say 'we'.
never alone, never alone .
oh fucking well .
the camera captured my tragedy .

i wanted to have something to half burn up,
something to stain stain stain .
but i had no more whites,
and my clothes already mouth ciggies,
grinning .

grin grin, reminiscing .
on the sin sin .

/i am mary's pulsating vagina;
blood, blood, fucking flood .

ha-ha-ha

by Dash Snow

another normal day,
day day, not a single thought without compulsive boredom,
excessively so.
makes the figdet slowly creep up your backbone,
tickle your neck, breathing on you. taunting.
nothing to do, oh what will we do.

this dilemma, of
nothing nothing nothing, makes you wish you had tyler .
it's worse than obsessiveness, it's worse than having
thought thought thought .
you can assemble them quietly,
a knock here, a smoke there.
but nothingness ?

it's the reason people drive too fast,
smoke too much, or hold that noose a little too tight while cuming .
it's the reason, reason reason fucking reason .

it is the reason they snort and sniff,
death, bare and open. ready
to catch you, falling.
i suppose we all hope to fly above it all.

but the rest of them- can't they see?
he played a joke on us, a fucking joke .

the joke of death is-
it's not like we're living to start with .
/you laughing yet?

slacker, cracker .

(copyrighted image)

Deny

bodies rotting, we be scared.
stripped of servile impaired,
the annoyed anxiety flared.
it sneered, sexually snared;
so the carressed crisis cared.
our share will never be spared.

smooth letters wont pass by shakes;
but knitted sharp wings do fly flakes.
blood reality, is that what it takes?
sword sacrifice humanity makes?
we keep driving on with no brakes.
peeping and seeping through fakes.

my, my dear;
we deny?
we defy?
i fear, i fear.

;[signed]

"your birth is a mistake you'll spend your whole life trying to correct."

one day our heads will fall off from the knocking;
but before that, it'll explode from the inside.
boom; insanity . boom; unexsistance ?

heh .

where are your balls ? need them after fall ?

(copyrighted image)

No Superman.

we're all the same,
assets to shame;
someone to blame,
to how blood came.

theres no fuckin crisis;
you are the bias, miss.

there no superman,
accept this bold ban.
theres no superman,
brace yourself; he ran.

these decieving eyes, they look.
for what to burn; n what to cook.

surrounding walls,
and stripping balls.

step. don't just stand;
for any helping hand.

theres no superman,
theres no superman.
worth a stepping stone,
we'r'all gonna die alone.

there is no resistance,
stop the persistance.

route hand yourself,
or handle the truth.
route hang yourself,
my dear, dear Ruth.

shamming sling,
jamming fling,
broken string;
cutting spring.

theres no superman,
but long live; you fan.
live your lifeblood life,
stab skin, use the knife.

now you're thrown,
noone of your own.

take a shower,
solve a now-er.
free the spirit,
every minute.

don't wait,
to be bait.

theres no superman,
this ain't no la la lan.

make love, not war.
want more, more.
make war, not love;
bring yourself above.

dig up in the action,
don't be a fraction.

no more faces,
edged spaces,
direct places,
riding paces.

no supeman, no;
don't stay, just go.

leave the world,
with it unfurled,
hang the knot,
its what we got.

;[signed]

yesterday, doesn't matter, doesn't end

The blood blooms clean

In you, ruby.
The pain
You wake to is not yours.

You are the one
Solid the spaces lean on, envious.
You are the baby in the barn.

i wish it was better
i wish it was better;
you're better.

you're better than them.

No Pain, No Gain .

"I'm an owl with tired eyes // I'm a scarecrow in disguise"
(Arms lyrics - Seabear)


(copyrighted image)

Empty.

enthusiastic hypocrisy,
evacuating democracy;
eliminated humanity.
single. sacred sanctity.

scoffing syllables through,
who do you think is you?

oh. sucking in win.
no. swallowing sin.

no bondage buried in a bind.
you can speak your mind,
but not; but not on my time.
bare. bland. thats no prime.

your words - she don't matter.
your herds - he don't shatter.
your voice doesn't even echo,
empty. you are no art deco.

yours truly,
saliva drooly.

;[signed]

we're so young we couldn't possibly fucking have "pain", pain schmain, all vain .

suction suction .
intestines twist, your piss
you'll hiss

inside,, out .
self mutilation, slit knit,
lalala we walk round,
white and gloomy and oddly shaped .

a bit repressive,
knock a dock dock,
we're a flock .

never ending; what if-
fuck, fuck - me-
is it the end is it the end is it the

no never . fucking
knock knock

who's there?
old jokes sneer at jumbled thoughts,
don't know don't know,
don't wanna hear, can't ever

fucking hear.
you'll never be near.
this white shiny shear .
it'll be dear;
so fucking clear-
i'll bear.

and you ask ask ask
won't stop, eh,
why why why
you ask me why

we do;
it's just too fucking much for you;
it's all moo.

suck baby suck .

the result of pop culture; bored, alcohol fuelled perversions .

how serious? take it as you will.

bananananananaaaaaa .

insightfulness, meaningless, eighteenness .

somehow .

expectations; beyond.
don't expect you to be special, as long as you function.
they're not gonna pay for you, you malfunctioning toy.
toy, all ever was. not really real; why's my plastic so thin?

silicone, silicone. why aren't you like them?
you're no different, no different, different not.
somehow you're out of place, can't see, no.
seeing is believing, or believing is seeing?
I CAN'T SEE, WON'T BELIEVE .
you're a blur, sharp corners out of the magazine.
you're all perfect. just the way he intended.

incestuous, it seems;
no extra heads, just dumber and dumber, same same.
populate, fuck fuck fuck, oh my we do love the fucking,
same same same, we make a difference MAKE A FUCKING DIFFERENCE .

line between genius and psycho is vague and blurred;
we don't give a fuck darling.
we're a little insane, a little fucking insightful.

i reject you, you reject me,
fuck all this,
fucking humanity.

too many questions , ?

(copyrighted image)

unexistant me

you!
who?
sow show,
a window.

getaway, flay. i run?
get in on the gun fun!

the floor, the door?
hell, tell me more!
way about, way out?
this stage is to shout.

flee free far from walls!
rag doll, destiny calls?

the releasing rejoice?
soul sipping voice!
do you use the cape?
no more verbal rape?

spot it. do you?
veto. no clues.
spit it. you do?
shell out dues.

go, go delete.
no, no repeat.
ripe to defeat,
rip incomplete.

why can't i see,
no stifled glee?
choked on free,
unexistant me.

(copyrighted image)

but but, still shut,
in a rut - a w-what?

blind shadow-
am disendow;
overshadow.

she dont!
she wont!

too bad aye?
no bye bye?
stuck luck.
motherfuck.

beat bout the bush?
give a pulling push!
feel, feed the hater.
adieu constipater!

;[signed]

knock knock knock knock fucking knock .

this stuff just won't leave .
it clings, flings
all over, inside, trapped .
it's all a trap

not some fucking mishap .
you wished you wished, you wished,
your eye was pried
open, wide .
black pupils dialate, open, swallow .
honey look what you've done .

Mommy, I saw I saw .
i saw the disease of the man, head
dead .
and his finger tips, rips .

And her legs spread,
Oh how she bled,
And soon she was dead .
But he just fed and fed .

out of the daze grew the haze,
you do not. do .
i pray you are not it,
cookie monster cookie monster,
you might as well been the boogie man .

My dreamcatcher fell,
And I went to hell .

we're not all that special .

from purple diary .

i thought

you do not do, you do not do .

but you do do .

and there was nothing more to say

since i gave it all away .

flesh wounds; surface faces phoney .

AND I'VE BEEN PUTTING OUT FIRE . WITH GASOLINE .

you do not do, you cannot do, you will not do .

it's that sticky feeling that cannot be shaken off ..
clings, flings .
diseases are catchy too, just like you.
trapped ?
breathe honey, it's okay .
it happens to the best of us .

oh yeah . because you are the best of us .
fuck me, i suppose i was just the chewing gum .
did you spit me out, or was i stuck underneath your shoe ?
the fleshy life, powdered pure pink that
made your skin come alive like a million worms,
spasms flowing and eating you?
did you like it did you like it?

i doubt your meaning, your existance .
don't fucking worry "honey", it does happen to the fucking best of us .

i think you shat .
because no offence, but i can smell it from over here,
you and your so called importance .
fucking impotent importance .

passive aggressive, passive aggressive .
".. nobody said your name ."
echo echo,
stupidity burns, acidic churns .
a layer spent; human trash .

doesn't matter, won't let up .

that itch lies surface borne, sinking its rotten yellow
teeth into me;
sticky spent flesh, a little too close .
ticky tick, it settles . we all know how that story folds .

suck suck suck 'em dry .
we die die die
oh no am i here AGAIN ?
how does this story never fucking end ?

i suppose i pray to my god of nonexistance,
of your evaporation, some pretty and morbid end>
you ain't no more fucking mortal than any one of us .

washing machine, time to redeem .

(copyrighted image - by Tania F., 18 year old Fashion Design student)

Piss on Diss.

wash your hands
crash the lands
brush your teeth,
forget the beneath,
take a shower
distant flower
I do what I did
when I was a kid
my momma taught
my insides fought
my outsides exposed
but still enclosed
remember the drill
relish every spill

the waters burning up
you’re burning down
you’re burning up
the waters burning down

and this
you hiss
keep piss
mistriss
and wait
til late
you watch
his crotch
punish it
never fit
candles lit
fetish kit
and keep
the beep
the pants
the rants
the sperm
now affirm
fire this up
kept in cup
splashing tub
crushing hub

and down, down, down,
wrapped plastic clown
a
lost cause
do applause
every clause
no such pause

t-t-t-try to wash
stain, s-s-swash
cut
but
memory lane
remain, remain
we remember
saintly surrender

;[signed]